Monday, January 12, 2009

The World's Biggest Understatement . . .

Working Mom.
So it begins.
School starts tomorrow and this is no soft transition! I will be teaching a full load by next week and by the end of the semester, will have classes on three campuses, online, in the morning, evening, and on Saturday. I thought for sure I'd be the mom who'd feel relief at heading back to the real world and the career I worked so hard for . . . but I'd be lying if I said that I feel ready. I'm not ready! It's true that I love my job very much and feel lucky to be me on most days. However, I have found a happiness at home, in family, and in my soul of which I never dreamt before. There's something settling about going back to basics and focusing on loving those near you, on giving hugs and kisses, and laughing at all things silly. I know I'll pull it off and reclaim my passion for the classroom, but I've so enjoyed getting to know the mother in me before everything else gets in the way. Someone reading this may misinterpret: I am not worried about being away from Amelia. Of course I'll miss her dearly. She's my little shadow, my appendage (in more ways than one), but I know she'll be fine and I'll enjoy a little space too. It's not that I can't leave her. I just don't look forward to the pace that scoops us all up and throws us about until we forget the important things. We stress about getting the laundry done and grading papers and making meetings until we resent the simple pleasures as additional tasks on the never-ending list of to-dos. I don't mind the extra work (and it IS extra work when a mom has to hold down a paying job), but I just don't want the distraction away from what's most important to me.

In other news, the Punkin had shots today. We pitied her all day in anticipation and then she didn't shed a tear! Such a big, strong girl! We were so very proud of her and quite impressed with her nonchalant attitude about the whole incident. I am pretty sure it was harder on Justin and I than she--who laughed and kicked as soon as they were done. Oh and it's important to note that I am very pleased that we split her 6-month shots into two segments. She's appeared to have much better reactions to them than with the 4-month round (in case anyone out there is thinking about splitting them--I wish I'd done it sooner!).

Another highlight of worthiness is that we had a big day last week! We went to Trader Joes and Miss A rode shotgun in the cart! Hallelujah! I can't even describe how this tiny milestone is going to improve my life. I have pics, but please read first paragraph for an explanation of why they are not with this post. In any case, she loved being able to look around and charm many a smile out of every passerby and I loved (loved, LOVED) being able to purchase more than I could carry with my two hands.

Oh and the mister and I had our first night out this weekend as well. It was fun, exhausting, and necessary. It was time. I could barely stay awake and spent most of the night covering my post-Amelia "assets" so as to not offend anyone, but it felt nice to step away too. I guess we will actually have to leave her at some point, so it's all in good practice. Although the little sassy pants gave my mom a run for her money with bedtime.

At least it's not just us!

1 comment:

Liz said...

Just stumbled onto your blog this morning and wanted to tell you I ADORE the name Amelia Jane. So cute!