Monday, January 31, 2011

Big Sister Waiting

It’s really hard for me to think of Amelia as a big sister.  She’s my baby! She’s been alone in our obsessive devotion since before birth and the thought of pushing her to the side and forcing her to share the spotlight of our love is not only confusing for me but also intensely heartbreaking too.  I think about how hard it’ll be for her to have her life thrown upside down and the love of her parents . . . split with another. . . it breaks my heart.  I feel my soul crack a little when I think about her realizing that HER mommy is also someone else’s.  Sharing doesn’t really cover it.
And our entire thought in having another child was basically as a gift to Amelia.  To provide her with an eternal playmate and comfort.  So when she is older, she will not be alone in family and will always have someone with whom she grew up and shared memories.  And so long, family road trips won’t be as boring with someone to fight.
It’s all a little confusing and completely scary too. For us anyway. Amelia appears totally on board with the whole baby thing. Just tonight, she said good night to the baby and patted my bulging belly.  She goes back and forth on whether she wants a brother or sister, largely because she doesn’t think there’s a lot of difference between the two. Although her initial and most oft repeated request is for a baby sister. And while I anticipate toddler shakedowns when this baby arrives, I am wholly confident that our little baby-turned-big-sister will love her sibling. 
This is baby Zoey. She was just a couple months old here and Amelia was newly two. We laid Zoey in Amelia’s old baby gym to keep her occupied while the adults hung out. Without prompting, Amelia brought baby Z her most precious belongings: the whole bedtime crew.  We gave Zoey a blanket but didn’t even consider giving her Amelia’s Bobo (her blanky)!  She also brought Z Lala and Ducky—her best sleepy buds. (!!)
Zoey with Amelia’s most treasured friends.
DSCN2409 Here you go Zoey!
And Amelia just adores her sweet baby niece too. We did NOT tell her to climb in next to Sage here. She just wanted to be closer to her.
DSCN2522 I may not be ready for Amelia to be the big sister and I know that she probably isn’t totally ready either, but she’s got a gentle spirit and a desire to be helpful and loving.  And while she certainly will endure some growing pains this summer and beyond, this little baby brother/sister is already so lucky to have Amelia. They will never know a time when she wasn’t there to share blankies, loveys, and sweetness. We should all be so fortunate to have a big sister like her.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

ADD Dance Party

The other night, Amelia and I had a dance party before bath time. We were celebrating . . . dance parties I guess. Or my ability to finally be off the couch after 2 pm.  Either way, I pulled out the video camera so we could show Daddy when he got home from work. It turns out that the video recorded a lot more than the Toddler Truffle, errr Shuffle. After the first couple tries, I realized that what I’d really captured was my kid’s complete and total lack of focus.

Exhibit A

Okay, so that one's not so bad, admittedly. But stay tuned.

Exhibit B. Notice that something catches her eye and she tries to keep dancing, but just . . . can't.

Exhibit C. Props are never a good idea here.

Exhibit D. This is a solid effort. A strong 16 seconds of dancing before getting distracted by 'big jumps.'


I rest my case.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I used to write a blog

It was mundane at times and funny at others. It was always sincere and sometimes emotional. It was riddled with the chronicles of a little person both in jest and from the heart.

I’d found a rhythm with my new laptop early in the fall and was back to posting often and feeling good about recording the tales of my sweet love daughter. And then my laptop was stolen. As was my blogging mojo. By the time I’d replaced my computer, I was behind in blogging and even more behind in school and towards the end of the semester (also known as the swirling vortex of stress and lost time).

And then there was this . . .

pregnancy test

Followed by some of this

And then this

ultrasound dec 16

Add in a whole lot of illness AND sickness, the holidays, and some other life changes. . .

and here we are. Today is the first day I’ve felt even remotely human or hungry or alive in at least 10 weeks. It is a new day and I miss my blog and I miss writing the stories of my Bug. She is so fantastic these days and really deserving of record. I’m just stuck on whether to get caught up (Halloween/Christmas, etc.) or just move on?

Guess it depends on how I feel tomorrow.