Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Random Thoughts

Amelia's turning two tomorrow. TOMORROW. I wish I knew how to feel about it all. It's not shock, or happiness, or sadness. It just . . . is. She's turning two. It doesn't help that we are in the party planning frenzy or that this month has been otherwise pretty awful.

I will say that next year, I'd definitely like to have her party BEFORE her birthday rather than after as we are this year. We don't have any major plans for tomorrow because so much effort has been sucked away by her party. Whereas if she's already had a party, you don't feel so bad about playing it low-key on actual birthday day. Feel me?

Although it might be difficult to have her party on the weekend before her birthday next year because . . . because, well . . . because Amelia's cousin was born this past Sunday! Not just Amelia's cousin, but our NIECE. N I E C E. Yep, a girl, born a mere 4 days before her big cousin's birthday and with a thoughtful, polite arrival in the middle of the day and after a very quick, amazing, natural birth for her mama. I'll have to post pics of that event very soon. Our niece. The baby girl who made Justin an Uncle and me an Auntie. Girls in the family---it's a beautiful thing!
Oh and back to the original thought---Baby Sage's bday will most likely be the weekend before A's. Hmm. So much for planning ahead.

I can tell you one thing--the reason I am not overly affected by Amelia's birthday (at least at this moment)is because she's so ahead of the pack in most areas. She almost seems older to me than 2 because she knows so much. I'll have to fill in the details tomorrow in her Second Birthday Blog. But I'll tell you this little detail-- She's potty-trained. By two.

So there's almost a conflict with her just turning 2. She seems so much older than that. Although I'm guessing that by tomorrow I'll be a whole mess of tears, crying, "My BABY'S two today!!! What happened to my BABY?!"

As you can see, there's mot much point for this post. I think it's beyond hope by now. It's largely here only out of practice for myself. I'm rusty and lethargic in the ways of words, work, and most significantly, photo uploading. Though I did find my camera cord after having lost for 5 months. Now that it's been so long, the thought of loading all of those pics and sorting them and backing them up and then picking the best ones? Blak. I'm hoping that breaking the seal for Amelia's birthday shall get me moving again. Hoping!

And on a final note, I'm sure I won't be asleep at 430 tomorrow morning. I don't know if I will ever sleep at the moment she was born. Not only did I find out that she was, well, a she in that moment, but I met my little soul sister, and was born myself in so many ways. Though I may, at times, long for the days before motherhood, I also see my life beginning under the operating lights and shrouded in anticipation as the clock struck half past 4 in the morning that day. There is no me without her and just as life grew more exhausting, complicated, and heart-wrenching with her arrival, so too did it begin.

Cheers to my BABY. The one who's turning two very soon.

1 comment:

The Bowlings said...

I can't believe she will be TWO tomorrow! I know what you mean though...they're not babies anymore, not todlers, little girls. SO proud that she is already potty trained, that is awesome! Hope you have a wonderful day with her tomorrow <3