Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A Time of Reflection

It's officially Amelia's birth week! That's right, one week from today, she will be a year old. That's also right, I celebrate birth WEEKS. Isn't it more fun than just one day?

This week, I will be posting a series of reflections about the year.

For instance, at this time last year, I was huge. Not that we need to reflect on that necessarily, but it's the truth all the same. Everyone had told me "Due in June? Perfect time to beat that heat!" Whatever. It was 108 the week before Amelia was born. I was still giving finals, grading finals, and lugging around a semester's worth of handouts and papers in my car. The week prior to that, I had been in acute misery. Amelia had positioned herself right on a nerve in my right rib area. The pain was stabbing and terrible no matter if I stood, walked, sat, or laid down. I'd spent the week (of my birthday no less) on all fours trying to get the weight of the baby off my organs and nerve. Otherwise, I was crying. I'd told Justin that there was no way I was going to make it another 4 weeks.

But by that last week, I'd begun to feel a little better. School was letting out and I'd discovered the pool. I would get in that pool at the gym and walk. I'd walk for 30-60 minutes in total freedom. My body moved easily and my limbs felt normal again. After about ten minutes in the water, all the muscles around my belly would finally relax and stop pulling like rubber bands around my massive-ness. It felt amazing. I wasn't in a hurry, not trying to burn calories, just enjoying my body's movement and relaxation. The Baby (as she was aptly called until the day she was born) stopped moving and just sat in peace in her little apartment. It was the only time she would settle. Ever. There was also a peace in my mind about my body image. I didn't care what I looked like in that bathing suit and rather enjoyed having my belly on display. Even at the gym!
When I would walk up the steps and out of the pool (Alas, I couldn't stay in there ALL day--mainly because they wouldn't let me eat in there.), I would feel all the weight come right back. With each step, my shoulders dropped, my back caved, and my feet swelled. I'd waddle to a chair and read a magazine in the sun waiting for Justin to finish his workout. It was peaceful and relaxing--probably the most peaceful and relaxing time of my entire pregnancy. That feeling stayed with me for the entire day each time I went to the pool.
One day about a week into my pool discovery (know that I went EVERY day after making said discovery), I looked at Justin on the way home and said, "Know what honey? I am going to make it. I really feel like I can do this for another 4 weeks--as long as I can go to the pool each day." He was visibly relieved. After watching me cry on all fours for a week, I am pretty sure he was ready to throw in the towel himself.

I went into labor that night.

No comments: