Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I Know What You Did That Summer: 35.5 Week Update

I feel haunted by my uterus’ past. The crazy thing about Amelia’s birth is that it was out of the blue. I never got to the point where I was just waiting for baby or looking for signs. I was frantically putting things together and looking forward to a couple weeks of putting my feet up after a long semester. Even as they were pulling my baby out of me, I was in total disbelief as to the reality of her birth in that moment. And then she was here and that was that. Uterus was off the hook, having produced a healthy baby, albeit in a rather unsettling manner. Ahhh, the bliss of ignorance.

Despite that I am technically still 4.5 weeks from this pregnancy’s end date, the ghost of birthing past indicates that we are really looking at arrival much sooner. Because, if we look at the calendar and put this baby’s birth at the same exact day of gestation as Amelia, it would be . . . next Wednesday. You know, a WEEK from today. Um. Yeah.

This knowledge changes everything. I’m constantly looking for signs, waiting in imminence. Every little thing makes me wonder “Is this it? What does this mean? Is it almost time??” And I feel guilty doing anything too physical or tiring or hard thinking I might set something off and actually force myself into labor.

Last weekend, BabyGirl took to major movement, her head switching sides of my uterus, pushing out two feet from my body and causing crazy pain. “HOLY SHIT, She’s MOVING!” The pain was intense and the movement was large enough that I broke out in chills and felt dizzy. I thought I might actually puke except I worried that if I got up to run to the toilet, I’d pass out. Crazy. My best guess now is that maybe she was trying to get head down again and running into the barrier of septum in my babymaker. In any case, I totally freaked out thinking that either labor was beginning or that she would get stuck and rupture the sac. ACK! I sat perfectly still for a couple hours. Now, if I hadn’t had the previous experience, I wouldn’t have even thought about going into labor at 35 weeks. But see . . . haunted.

The good part of having experience is in being prepared. To an extent anyway. I’m going to the doctor each week now and this week, she did an external exam. I never got to the point of going weekly with Amelia and they definitely had no reason to check my cervix for signs of labor. This time, if there are signs, we might know in advance if my body is preparing for labor. Hopefully. Wouldn’t that be nice? The news as of today is that my cervix has begun to thin and soften but is still closed with no dilation. The baby’s butt is still downward but very high—meaning she hasn’t dropped yet.  So labor is coming but nothing of immediate concern. Eep.

The doctor told me today that she expects me to make it to our next appointment—next Wednesday and if things are the same, to the scheduled C-section date! A lot can change in a week, but I am really trying to be positive about it. IthinkIcanIthinkIcanIthinkIcan. The big mystery is if I showed any real signs before Amelia came. There was nothing of note on my end, so who knows if my cervix showed any signs before—since nobody checked. So who knows. WHO KNOWS? It’s all a just  a scary guessing game.

On the daily note, I’ve started scrubbing the house and spending hours putting the Baby’s room together. I even polished the furniture in Amelia’s room for the first time. Ever. ha. And cleaned the mirrored closet doors in her room—the ones covered in her little paw and mouth prints. And yet there are a MILLION things on my list of things to do! It’s killing me! Waking up at the break of dawn each day to get busy on a myriad of tasks just to poop out by 10 in time to hit the pool. Getting in the pool sounds like a luxury, but I believe it’s a medical necessity. As the pregnancy nears its ending, my poor body is just over it. Walking is my biggest chore these days. I’m not being dramatic either. My pelvis is bruised and ridiculously painful. The doctor told me that the cartlidge in the middle of the joint in the pubic bone (yeah, there’s a joint in there. Crazy) gets inflames sometimes and causes crazy pain. The popping I’ve had is a sure sign of that inflammation. :(  It’s painful enough that picking my legs up to say, cross my legs while sitting or just to walk is very painful. The only relief is to not let my belly hang—which means not to stand. Or to hire a team of people to walk around holding it up for me. Because that would be fantastic. My doctor said I can try to ace bandage the belly to lift the uterus off my pelvic area for some relief but it would have to be one mighty ace bandage, let me tell you. A team of people would be far more effective. Or a pulley system. That might work. Otherwise, the pool is my respite. My weightless, cool, amazing respite. I go in every day and I’ve begged Justin to let me sleep there to no avail.

I guess that’s it for this week. Making it through next week will be a really big deal. And as we near Wednesday, my anxiety level may reach a fever pitch. BUT if I make it to Thursday, I’ll officially beat my own personal record on pregnancy. ha. Mind you, since I’ve got bags packed and sitting right by the front door, this baby is sure to beat the odds and wait.

I guess we’ll know soon enough.

1 comment:

Monica said...