Nevermind.

I should’ve known better than to wax on about how great things are. Our luck never seems to run like that so it was silly on my part to have the nerve to relax my guard and just enjoy life.

Amelia woke up sick yesterday. She’d been snotty-nosed on Friday but by yesterday it appeared to be a full cold. There is still a possibility that it’s an allergy attack or something but it came on suddenly and has endured going on the third day now. Not to mention that on Friday night, she didn’t sleep a wink, which would indicate an actual illness since allergies make you more tired than anything. So Justin was up with her all night and she was just a mess yesterday. She woke up drier today but just sneezed at least 10 times in a row, so the fountain of snot is back.

:(

I spent yesterday totally freaked out about how this affects this week and sinking right back into a gloomy thought pattern. I don’t know what made me think we’d escape this pregnancy without one last illness. We’ve been relatively healthy for about a month (save for the severe asthma and allergies I’ve had). Wouldn’t it just make sense that we’d end it . . . sick?! And what does it mean for this week? Well, first and foremost, it could throw off our whole plan in regards to keeping Amelia in her regular routine of school and whatnot. It certainly makes taking care of her more complicated, probably putting more pressure on Justin. It also means that if still sick come Tuesday, she won’t be able to visit the hospital to 1) meet her sister or 2) see her mama. Not seeing her for 4-5 days?! I’ve never gone that long without seeing her and certainly don’t want THIS to be the occasion that we’re separated for so long. 

:(

And then I had a minor meltdown about getting sick myself yesterday too. If I catch this illness (and let’s face it, I have caught every illness since October), I could potentially not only be sick while giving birth, but also would have to be crazy careful around the baby. The baby that I’ve longed to just snuzzle and kiss and sniff for what feels like a couple years now. *tears*  I just can’t be sick through this. I can’t. We’ve gone through too much to get here.

And just when I was feeling so positive. Fucking figures.