Big Sister Waiting

It’s really hard for me to think of Amelia as a big sister.  She’s my baby! She’s been alone in our obsessive devotion since before birth and the thought of pushing her to the side and forcing her to share the spotlight of our love is not only confusing for me but also intensely heartbreaking too.  I think about how hard it’ll be for her to have her life thrown upside down and the love of her parents . . . split with another. . . it breaks my heart.  I feel my soul crack a little when I think about her realizing that HER mommy is also someone else’s.  Sharing doesn’t really cover it.
And our entire thought in having another child was basically as a gift to Amelia.  To provide her with an eternal playmate and comfort.  So when she is older, she will not be alone in family and will always have someone with whom she grew up and shared memories.  And so long, family road trips won’t be as boring with someone to fight.
It’s all a little confusing and completely scary too. For us anyway. Amelia appears totally on board with the whole baby thing. Just tonight, she said good night to the baby and patted my bulging belly.  She goes back and forth on whether she wants a brother or sister, largely because she doesn’t think there’s a lot of difference between the two. Although her initial and most oft repeated request is for a baby sister. And while I anticipate toddler shakedowns when this baby arrives, I am wholly confident that our little baby-turned-big-sister will love her sibling. 

This is baby Zoey. She was just a couple months old here and Amelia was newly two. We laid Zoey in Amelia’s old baby gym to keep her occupied while the adults hung out. Without prompting, Amelia brought baby Z her most precious belongings: the whole bedtime crew.  We gave Zoey a blanket but didn’t even consider giving her Amelia’s Bobo (her blanky)!  She also brought Z Lala and Ducky—her best sleepy buds. (!!)
Zoey with Amelia’s most treasured friends.
Here you go Zoey!

And Amelia just adores her sweet baby niece too. We did NOT tell her to climb in next to Sage here. She just wanted to be closer to her.
I may not be ready for Amelia to be the big sister and I know that she probably isn’t totally ready either, but she’s got a gentle spirit and a desire to be helpful and loving.  And while she certainly will endure some growing pains this summer and beyond, this little baby brother/sister is already so lucky to have Amelia. They will never know a time when she wasn’t there to share blankies, loveys, and sweetness. We should all be so fortunate to have a big sister like her.